Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.

By the time we've made it, we've had it.

Many a trip continues long after movement in time and space have ceased.

On the whole, human beings want to be good, but not too good, and not quite all the time.

One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time.

Every great film should seem new every time you see it.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

Baseball hasn't been the national pastime for many years now - no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.