If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

Baseball hasn't been the national pastime for many years now - no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren't. I don't know if its the way you say it, or how you look.

Much of the messy advertising you see on television today is the product of committees. Committees can criticize advertisements, but they should never be allowed to create them.

Commercials on television are similar to sex and taxes; the more talk there is about them, the less likely they are to be curbed.

In day-to-day commerce, television is not so much interested in the business of communications as in the business of delivering audiences to advertisers. People are the merchandise, not the shows. The shows are merely the bait.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching?

Art is moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television.