All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.

Harpo Marx looks like a musical comedy.

If you elect a matinee idol mayor, you're going to have a musical comedy administration.

The office of drama is to exercise, possibly to exhaust, human emotions. The purpose of comedy is to tickle those emotions into an expression of light relief; of tragedy, to wound them and bring the relief of tears. Disgust and terror are the other points of the compass.

Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail.

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.

It's hard enough to write a good drama, it's much harder to write a good comedy, and it's hardest of all to write a drama with comedy. Which is what life is.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake three laughs in an hour - ha ha ha ha ha - they'll take you away, man. You can't.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.