I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.

Baseball hasn't been the national pastime for many years now - no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Habits are safer than rules; you don't have to watch them. And you don't have to keep them either. They keep you.

Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.

I don't watch it, but I know enough to comment on it.

There is no such thing as national advertising. All advertising is local and personal. It's one man or woman reading one newspaper in the kitchen or watching TV in the den.

Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.

There are times when fear is good. It must keep its watchful place at the heart's controls.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback.

Wear your learning like your watch, in a private pocket; and do not pull it out, and strike it, merely to show that you have one.

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.

Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.

The contemplative life is often miserable. One must act more, think less, and not watch oneself live.